Something is obviously bothering you or has hurt you, or you are all in your head about things, and the next day you are in your heart about things and the two conflict and it’s confusing as hell … am I on track? Set yourself up in an environment that is a happy content place for you. Cup of tea, glass of wine, bubble bath (challenging but lovely every now and again), your favourite chair, Sunday sweater, favourite coffee shop … whatever environment allows you to be open to hearing your heart. Your brain will automatically show up. When it comes to sorting all of this out the next best thing to a coach or therapist is to write it down. We call this journaling, capturing or cataloging … it is simply the art of hearing the truth of the matter.
So here is how to journal this stuff:
You simply write. Write down what you feel and think about what it is that’s going on in your head. Pour your heart out and get to know what the heck you are truly feeling. Here is a great framework to follow as it will help you see a number of things.
1. The incident: Explain the moment that has poked you. This is the factual who, what, when, where of the incident.
2. The Body: Write down what you felt physically at the moment of the poke. Explain this physical feeling, or feelings. Close your eyes and take a breath to connect with how this feels in your body. This awareness is important because we get triggered more than we realize and the first tell is the physical, autonomic reaction. When we gain awareness around this we start to notice the small pokes and therefore not let it build into something bigger.
3. The Head: Write down what you hear in your head. Explain what you think is irritating you or has hurt you. This is essentially what you “think” of the event.
4. The heart: Write down what you feel. This lives in your heart. You can do this by asking yourself if this story you hear in your head is true? You may need to ask this five times … and continue to ask until the story is challenged. Our stories rarely portray the truth. While I say this I do think about the contradictory belief that our stories are indeed our truth as they are what we believe to be true. If we are asking if this story is true we are challenging the story. When we surrender to the question “is this true” then we will indeed see that we’ve been limiting our selves with untruths and unfounded reasoning.
5. The reaction: How did you react in the moment of the poke? How did you show up? Or run away? Maybe you deflected and swept it right under the rug?
Think of your journal like it’s your new favourite side kick.
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