This ultimate quest for balance is so commonplace, so I hope it helps knowing you are so not alone in these feelings. When I read your question, I can’t help but think one thing: Hold the belief that you are doing the very best that you can. This is the end all and be all.
Self-compassion is a tough nut. We have walked through life and have either trained our brains to think the best, to love big and to chase down desires, or we have bought into untrue stories and are being held hostage by our limiting beliefs. Either way, I find there is always room for self-compassion. It seems to be such a challenge to forgive ourselves… to let go of our less than desirable moments… to believe that we are doing our very best… to see room for growth as a blessing. How we chose to think about ourselves is a choice.
What would it feel like at the end of the day if we said to self, “I accomplished a whole lot and tomorrow is a new day to get to the rest”; or “Hey you, nice work today. Let’s prioritize tomorrow’s to-do list”? What would it feel like if we were simply accepting of how our day rolled out? This is all about our headspace. Telling ourselves that we are doing the very best we can is a healthy, supportive and self-loving mindset.
Along with a self-loving headspace, there is a specific to-do that I use to ensure I am taking care of what is important to me. It’s this concept that I like to call “boulders”. I like to think that boulders are immovable objects, so I carve out time slots in my calendar that I consider boulders. Personally, I find that the “me time” you mentioned is the first thing the gets pushed aside when we let life take hold. Ten minutes with my journal is a boulder in my calendar. My gratitude practice is also a boulder in my calendar. I introduce one new boulder at a time and once it flows with my day, I can consider adding another. Honouring the borders set by our calendars requires discipline, but if at the end of the day, when we reflect and see that we honoured our boulders, how might that feel? Don’t get me wrong, I know first-hand that life throws us unexpected curve balls, so when a boulder occasionally gets overlooked, listen when you tell yourself that you are doing the very best you can.
At the end of the day, this is about being your own fan, supporter, coach and self-loving enthusiast. Cheering yourself on even when you think you may not deserve it is a tool … because I promise you that you do deserve it.