April 26, 2021

Hey Christina, How do I develop resilience around negative comments, shame, etc.?

– Seeking Self-Love

Dear Seeking Self-Love,

Let me start with… yay you! Seeking self-love is a win, in and of itself! Resilience is one of my favourite topics. It’s my belief that resilience resides in us from the moment we come into the world. What life has in store for us will either bring resilience to the forefront, or it will simply wait at bay for when you call on it.

If you’re seeking self-love I am going to guess that you’ve heard the name Brene Brown who says this about resilience; “While vulnerability is the birthplace of many of the fulfilling experiences we long for — love, belonging, joy, creativity, and trust, to name a few — the process of regaining our emotional footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness in our lives; it’s the process that teaches us the most about who we are.”

Resilience is just that; it’s the process of regaining our emotional footing in times when it is hard as heck to do so. Resilience is all about how you move forward and what you chose to believe and strive to be along the way.  And therein lies the quest… actually hearing what your head is saying. There are stories and limiting beliefs that automatically play, that we simply roll with and let guide us. But, when we stop and question our thoughts and beliefs, we can shift everything.  If what we hear sounds something like, “I just can’t do this”, “I have too much baggage”, “I will never bounce back from this”, or, “I can’t do this”, these statements are all un true, yet we may believe them to our core and therefore, continue to live just that way… in fear.  Resilience is looking inward and seeing the dark spots, setting them free and forgiving yourself. I get this sounds far easier than it is. But, isn’t looking at, taking ownership of, and forgiving yourself far less work than carrying around that satchel of heavy darkness? No one knows it’s there… just you. It’s my belief that we see our  dark spots as “failures”. I believe that “failures” are opportunities for great learning and shifting for the next time that lesson shows up. As Brene Brown says, “it’s a matter of grit”. It takes a lot of grit to look in the mirror, own our shit, and choose a better path forward.

I am going to take a wild guess and assume that if you look back on your life to date, you may just see a whole lot of resilience that you yourself have drummed up.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank anyone and everyone who has uttered the words,

“So I asked myself… what would Christina do?”

** This platform has been inspired by you! **

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