When I started cracking into identifying patterns, I quickly realized that patterns truly do get us the opposite of what we want. For example, a pattern of ‘rose coloured lenses’ can result in a person not seeing the reality of their situation. It can mean emotional stuffing and an emotional disconnect altogether. It can also mean that the person is never heard because instead of speaking up they choose to see the positive and slide the rest into the denial bucket. This is the ultimate of self sacrificing. So here you have a person who sees life through rose coloured lenses, which is positive. Yet they likely sit in resentment, hurt and loneliness.
Another pattern that I refer to as the PPP (the professional people pleaser) can be quite stifling. This pattern can result in a person doing so much for others that they live outside of their life. So much so that they tend to wake up one day and find themselves in the middle of a self identity crisis – wondering who they are, what they like, and what they want.
Another pattern example, and one that I see a lot in my office, is the pattern of fear of abandonment. The word abandonment alone can get a reaction … I get it. Abandonment isn’t about being left on a door step as a baby. Abandonment is much further reaching, and in all honesty it is deserved of it’s own article entirely. But what this pattern can mean for someone is an absolute inability to lean in and trust relationship as well as a boat load of sabotaging. Often resulting in no relationship or broken relationships – the opposite of what is desired.